As some of you may know, I have done a music video for my upcoming single, “Carnal Insect.” During this process of creating it something interesting happened. I brought forth and gave new life to something that I didn’t know even existed.
For all these years of composing music I’ve always had this weird feeling as if the ideas would come from somewhere else other than my own head. No, not all the time but during those moments when everything during the creative process starts to fall into place and become effortless, and whenever I feel I am “in the zone.” It is as if I was in contact with some side of me or some deeper level of myself that already did make the song and is just dictating it to my more conscious persona, that is simply the monkey doing all the physical work. Just a vessel or a bridge to bring forth something beyond the surface of my mind.
I mean, I once met myself in a dream and he accused me of plagiarism! I first mistook the guy to be my higher self, but the way he was ranting about it revealed he was just another self. At first I thought it was just a funny dream, but now I see there was something more to it.
I didn’t even fully realize this, but while making my first ever music video for The Fair Attempts, I used my “man with the gas-mask” character in it . During the cutting phase of the video, it became evident how many different personas of me are present in the music video. How many personas can I bring forth when I simply lose my inhibitions and let the creative expression take hold of me?
It is like this gas-masked character is my avatar for expressing some deeper aspects of me and tell a story through it. A vessel for me to express something while making a clear distinction from both my musician persona, “Friendly Timo,” and my “everyday” persona.
This man-sized sock puppet was brought to life through the imagination that was fed to me by my song, “Catwalk.” It personifies the kind of individual that part of me feels inside: behind shields and barriers from the outside world and influences, while cautious and protective about everything that may hurt me. It is an aspect of me like many others that occasionally pop up, such as “Hostile Timo,” a very destructive side of me. But let’s just let that one be though, shall we?
I feel this “Gas-mask Man” is a perfect avatar to represent The Fair Attempts also due to the impersonal nature of him. He is not just an essence of me, but in many ways an essence of us all. We all have these feelings of not belonging, being hurt and growing a kind of protective barrier between the world and the core of our emotions. The Gas-mask Man may at times wonder why to even keep going and try anymore, despite all the good intentions and love he has tried to give to the world? And what he has gotten back? But along comes another day and he finds himself picking the scraps up, and giving it another go for the sake of doing it. Another Fair Attempt. This is the core of it, The Fair Attempts is not just about me, or just about you either. It is about all of us.
I want to draw him out more and learn what he is all about, and does he even have a name? Regardless, since he is The Fair Attempts personified, I hereby call him “TFA Guy.” He has now been realized during the creation of this music video and he is here to stay… Or do you think I should go talk to a professional about this?